- CORRECT YOURSELF
- THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK
- USE THE RIGHT NOUNS/PRONOUNS/NAMES FROM NOW ON
- THINK THEY SHOULD JUST ‘DEAL WITH IT’
- SAY THAT IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU IT WOULDN’T BE A BIG DEAL
- DO IT AGAIN
- AND AGAIN
If it has a penis it’s a boy
If it has a vagina it’s a girl
I don’t believe you quite understand transgender terms and etiquette, frankiefantastica.
You see, there is a difference between a person’sgenderand a person’ssex. Allow me to explain this distinction.
When someone is born, they have already been labeled as eithermale or female. From that point on, whether they are male or female is determined by their chromosomes and genitals.This is theirchromosomal gender, or their sex.Keep in mind that yoursexis something that is preordained, and entirely out of your control until you have the means to change it with surgery. Also keep in mind that some people cannot achieve these means due to their lack of funds or other obstacles, and some do not wish to undergo the surgery at all.
Now, ontogender. While a person is stuck with theirsexuntil they are able to change it, that person’s genderis entirely up to them. A person’s gender is how they identify mentally and emotionally, meaning that while someone might have male genitals, it’s entirely possible and acceptable that they identify as female.Understanding this distinction is very crucial in your ability to remaintactful and politewhen conversing with transgender people, or people who do not identify with their sex.
It is common knowledge that someone’s personal life is a matter of privacy and is therefore a very delicate subject, and it is common courtesy to uphold your duty as an honorable citizen and/or understanding friend by not prying someone’s secrets out to be criticized and judged openly. It is also your duty to apologize to someone when you do pry out their secrets, and take caution and attempt to avoid committing such an act again. As someone’s gender identity and sex are, in fact,verypersonal subjects, they absolutely fall under someone’s personal life and as such you should treat them like any other private matter by being respectful and polite.
And, on the topic of someone’s gender identity, it isalsocommon courtesy to confirm a person’s gender andpreferred pronounsbefore labeling them. A person’spreferred pronouns are what pronouns they prefer to be labeled with, such as male pronouns(he, his, he’s, he’ll, etc.) andfemalepronouns (her, hers, she, she’s, she’ll, etc.), although there are others besides just these two. If you are interested in coming off as someone who treats others with respect and humbleness in social situations, you should keep this in mind.
When you talk about someone’s sex/gender openly and/or to their face, you are not being practical and informative. When you argue that a person is not male/female/gender-fluid because of the state of their genitals, you are not being logical or reasonable, and you are certainly not being smart. When you criticize an individual for the gender they identify with, you are not being funny, you are not being witty, and you are absolutely not being playful, joking, and/or “just kidding around.” You are violating someone’s privacy, you are disrespecting a person’s lifestyle, you are making fun of an individual for who they are. And that is an act of ultimate discourtesy, of astounding stupidity, of horrifying inhumanity. When you cannot understand or acknowledge another person’s pain and plights, their trials and tribulations, their rights to the same treatment as everyone else, you are not just an ignoramus, a buffoon, a malicious fiend - You are a monster.